Juliette Bindoll: plastic parody or femme fatale?

julie_bindel_doll

We asked two of our most well-defined regular female contributors to give us their thoughts on the release of FATALE’s two hundredth anniversary of this legendary limited edition figurine…


AGAINST – Judy Pringle

I hate everyone, I especially hate this doll. What’s so special about the 200th anniversary of an 18th century super-slut, now revamped for a politically-correct millennium audience?

It really does make my stomach churn to know that the creators of this dangerous toy have modeled it up on the amoral nymphomaniac anti-heroine “Juliette” made famous by the writings of novelist Marquis de Sade in 1801. By contrast, the doll’s real life, modern day twin sister resembles her fictional counterpart Justine who Sade described as ” a virtuous woman who consequently encountered nothing but despair and abuse”. Is it any wonder Napoleon ordered the arrest of this disgraceful author?

I don’t care if it’s meant to be a lesbian, bisexual or bionic, this has no place on the shelf in a child’s bedroom.

Thankfully it’s suitable for the microwave, and despite the level of ignorance displayed by readers of my regular national newspaper column comments page I am sure there are still people out there with half a brain cell. High power for 60 seconds and presto – feminism is alive and well and all it takes is an 800w Daweoo microwave oven.

I can’t help but see a little bit of myself when I look at the Juliette Bindoll, I guess we all do. Ultimately people like me and those I inspire are all viewed as disposable, that’s why people seek to destroy us.

Long may the tradition continue.

FOR – Christine Björn-agan

So what if FATALE have based this soft, lovable icon of childhood and femedom on a peculiar yet delightful fusion of a well-known lesbian journalist and another bad-apple from French literary history?

Infact, Stephen King based his best selling novel “Christine” on yours truly! I was actually rather flattered having previously thought I was more of a Barbara Windsor dead-ringer myself. So Judy really should lighten up and get with the festive spirit a little and view this as a compliment.

Anyone with an ounce of love in their heart should consider purchasing this lovely toy for their daughter this Christmas or if you are unable to have children then why not donate one to a random passing child in the street?

It would be sad to simply let this adorable (yet slightly artificial) symbol of femininity be destroyed in such a horrific manner just because it is misunderstood, people have said the same about me and my friends but if we go for lunch and discuss our differences over a bowl of cold salad then perhaps we can find some common ground. Peace Out.

Below: Poster for John Carpenters 1984 release of “Christine” based on the novel by Stephen King which our columnist Christine Björn-agan claims is based on her life. “The likeness is uncanny” she explained. It seems Christine has the ability to see the value of inspiring others creative works even if they do make a few quid out of it at her own expense.

christine_born_bad
“She’ll Posses You, – then she’ll destroy you”

Hell hath no Fury…like Christine.

Disclaimer:

This article was written for entertainment purposes.
Any resemblance to real people is purely by coincidence.
Feedback is welcome, simply post a comment and we might publish it!

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13 Responses to Juliette Bindoll: plastic parody or femme fatale?

  1. Troll Doll says:

    Having read Stephen King’s “Christine” many times myself I have to say it’s one of the most moving stories I’ve ever encountered. Christine’s struggle against her inner soul and eventual transformation into a megalomaniac monster is deeply disturbing.

    a Deer in the headlights indeed!

  2. Sophia K says:

    As a queer transsexual woman, I am no supporter of Julie Bindel nor do I care about a word Christine Burns has to say about anything – but I am really, really bothered by the mocking of these people’s appearances. I mean, REALLY.

  3. Mister D says:

    This is the funniest thing I have read all year. Well done on another fantastic article. Julie Bindel will no doubt hold this up as a symbol of how she is being victimised but without sounding immature – you get what you give love!

  4. You’ve made my day .. in such a wonderful and life affirming way!

    Love, Christine Burns

  5. Julie Bindel says:

    Thank you so much for this boys! The doll actually resembles me quite closely. Either way, I am deeply flattered at the attention.

    Warmest regards, Julie Bindel

  6. Amy G says:

    Hi, Thanks for this totally hilarious lampoonery. I’m a post-op transwoman and I agree, Bindel is a jerk for her comments and as for Christine Burns, again, yet another self-interest TS leader whom is so tiresomely self important its boring. To be frank, I think it’s time these two prats got ignored now. Why make them seem more important then they actually are? Let them disappear into the obscurity they deserve.

  7. Joanna says:

    The personal comments about women’s appearances are just sexist.

    Julie Bindel has done more for women’s rights over the last 20 years than you probably know. I hope you enjoy those rights while you write this vile rubbish, but I for one feel that I owe her and other second wave feminists a debt of gratitude. Particularly, they allowed us to know that when a person attacks you on the basis of your appearance that person is using a cheap trick of the patriarchy, by reducing you to an object whose sole worth consists in being pretty and affirmed as such by men.

    So well done for reinforcing the degradation of your chosen gender.

  8. Amy G says:

    Well, in response to the ‘psycho analytic’ clap-trap and other assorted ,pulled out of the hat hot-air pontifications that legions of feminists oh-so love to throw into their thesis, I think Julie has (like most of her kind) set women back years. So yep – I agree. Well done for the degradation of your chosen gender….

  9. rightsmatter says:

    Joanna, you make errors of fact. Second wave feminism happened in the 1970s ie Lynne Segal, Germaine Greer, Gloria Steinham, Shere Hite, Mary McIntosh, Judith Butler, etc., JB was only a baby when 2nd wave feminism was happening.
    JB just peddles old Dworkinite ideas that died even before Dworkin’s career did. And she doesn’t put them to the academe for scrutiny in academic journals or seminars. JB is a hack. If you don’t know the difference between chip wrapping and a library then that is a shame but not unusual in our barely literate age. Blame the Labour government that JB brown-noses up to.

  10. Amy G says:

    Rightsmatter, I couldn’t agree more. And the day Julie Bindel can come even close to the likes of Shere Hite, et al, she’ll have achieved something. But I doubt she’ll get there. And she knows it. Hence her over inflated statements, poor insight, and unwarrented remarks about sectors of society that she could never ever even begin to comprehend. She must feel that it will get her noticed. Sensationalism is a poor substitute for true literature, and the true academics would shoot her down.

  11. Anon says:

    taking the mick out of a woman… how oh so original… or NOT as the case is. It’s a pathetic witchhunt against her, just as how any women MPs, for example, are talked about like rubbish and belittled. grow up. yes she was offensive in her phrasing so what now… you lot are just as offensive about her… why not go do some activism and actually make a difference and leave her alone. i’m sure she’s not actually bothered about what you lot think of her anyway… after all you may call her unintelligent etc but in the end she’s had to work twice as hard as her male peers to get to where she is, and she’s the one still with column inches and opinions… stop ridiculing women.

    • AmyG says:

      Hi,

      I took on board what you have said and I do agree, the time has come to leave Bindel alone. But as for activisim, I do that every day of my post op life. I work as a web designer, a server hosting specialist and database developer. My form of activisim is dealing with the general public all the time, and making a good job of it. I was disgracefully outted by my former company. I found that all these wonderful people whom sport the ‘Equal Opps’ crap like the NHS didn’t want me, (even though I have deep healthcare related software development, and a training qualification. And it’s rubbish from the likes of Bindel that keep me from having a decent job. I had to form my own company, and yes, I’m doing well. But in response to your ‘she has to work twice as hard as her male counterparts’ comment, remember us, the post op transwomen that have to work a 100 times harder then the likes of Bindel. It’s thanks to the likes of Bindel’s writing and the negative media reactions that we are kept back. So it is no wonder why the likes of me get really annoyed, especially by a woman that looks more like a man then I ever did. Waving the rainbow flag in a gay ghetto is nice, but I do my own flag waving. I do it via social integration and showing people that we’re not all from the loopy-lu planet. And that we are capable of making good, decent lives for ourselves. Now THAT is activisim.

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